


Ineptitude

by MorningstarGlory



Category: Assassin's Creed
Genre: Ficlet, Funny, Gen, Kink Meme, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-28
Updated: 2012-12-28
Packaged: 2017-11-22 18:29:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/612880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorningstarGlory/pseuds/MorningstarGlory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when Ezio is controlled by a completely incompetent player? He makes a ridiculous amount of trouble for Machiavelli, of course.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ineptitude

“Ezio, walk with me. We have much to discuss.” Without waiting to see if the Assassin was following him, Machiavelli started down a narrow alleyway, carefully weaving through the crowds. “We cannot assume the people of Roma will assist us simply because you have destroyed a number of the Borgia’s towers, we must-” he stopped speaking when he noticed Ezio was still several feet away, staring straight at a wall.

He watched as the other man spun around several times, crouched and jumped, ran up a wall and then promptly fell off a ledge - knocking over several citizens on the way down. 

Machiavelli hurried over and pulled Ezio to his feet. “What do you think you are doing?” 

“My apologies, Machiavelli. I am feeling a bit…odd.”

“You’ve been drinking with the Courtesans again, haven’t you?” 

“Of course I haven’t. I have spent the day working for La Volpe!” Ezio looked offended and Machiavelli would have believed him had the Assassin not reached out and suddenly yanked a passing man off his horse. 

He grabbed Ezio and walked away before the man could call for the guards. “I am going to tell Claudia to inform her girls they are no longer allowed to serve you wine. Your behavior is unacceptable.” 

“Machiavelli, I swear I have not had a single drink today.” Ezio growled in annoyance before tackling the nearest minstrel. 

“And I suppose that wasn’t your fault either?” Machiavelli snapped.

“It wasn’t, but he deserved it anyway.”

“Never mind that. Let’s just get to our destination without drawing anymore attention to ourselves.” 

Ezio nodded and motioned for Machiavelli to lead the way. They managed to get only fifty feet away from the confused minstrel holding his broken lute before Machiavelli felt Ezio brush against his back. When he turned around, he found the Assassin was holding his money pouch. 

“This is not what it looks like, Machiavelli!” 

Ezio’s attempt to explain was cut short when Machiavelli’s fist collided solidly with the left side of his face and sent him tumbling backwards into a crowd of men carrying crates. He quickly jumped to his feet and lunged for Machiavelli but ended up punching just slightly to the left of the other man’s head.

“You steal from a friend and then cannot even fight back? How shameful!” Machiavelli taunted him as he landed a swift kick to back of Ezio’s knee.

“I can fight! It’s just that the camera angle keeps changing!” Ezio exclaimed before Machiavelli grabbed and shoved him, sending him sprawling onto his ass. 

“What is a ‘camera angle?”


End file.
